Karma..

Disillusioned..

2011-12-19T04:56:00.002+11:00

Moonlit silhouettes,
Words by the millions,
Nicotine breaths,
Societal sirens.

Recognisable lyrics,
Voices by the disparities,
Knuckle breaking waits,
Unfamiliar paragraphs.

Candlelit memories,
Names by the generic,
Self inflicting kisses,
Braking hums.

Indefinable aches,
Grooves by the past,
Nail biting impertinences,
Isolated enactments.

Refreshing postcards,
Tears by the memories,
Self induced smiles,
Repeated lyrics.

Home; indefinable..

tomber..

2011-09-03T17:38:00.003+10:00

A child drenched in unbiased showers,
Pursuing unforgiving premonitions,
Displaced amongst adulterated voices,
Tender, delusional memoirs.

Subtle in staking,
Anonymity a mere bliss,
Run my love,
To those lyrical prospects.

A phantom on a horizon of moons,
Relinquished and ridiculed,
Infected by gaunt, broken personas,
Thoughtful, unrequested joys.

Findings of unjustifiable defences,
Delusions of endless morphs,
Sway my dearest,
At peace with thy acoustics

A man within a façade of monsoons,
Winds prolonging doubtful miseries,
Subdued by differentiated beliefs,
Lingered, hostile romances.

Awakened from eternity,
Tracing a life line,
Alone my darling,
Welcome those recurring memories.

Ring-a-Ring o'Rosies
A Pocketful of Posies!
"A-tishoo! A-tishoo!"
We all fall Down..

Peut-être..

2011-06-03T13:39:00.003+10:00

Je suis désolée,
Mais je ne peux pas aide toi.
Pour je ne comprends pas aussi.
J’adore lui seulement.
Tu pense trop...
Tu veux m'aider?
Mais je ne t’aime pas.
Oui, je suis désolée,
Je ne comprends pas non plus.

Tu m'aime? – Je suis désolée madame, mais je ne comprends pas pourquoi.

Metamorphosis..

2011-04-05T23:52:00.002+10:00

Either remain cocooned for all eternity, failing to realize one’s true potential;

Or break free and awe the world with one’s wondrous ways.

Become a butterfly..

inédit

2011-04-04T20:18:00.004+10:00

Un, deux, trois.
Respirer.

Eyes pursed,
Forgotten obscurity.

Un, deux, trois.
Graver.

Mind tailored.
Mesmerised thoughts.

Un, deux, trois.
Influencer.

Lips subdued.
Residual mirages.

Un, deux, trois.
Effacer.

Flesh numbed,
Contradictory decisions.

Un, deux, trois.
Rêver.

Voice rhymed,
Defining repercussions.

Un, deux, trois;
Quatre, cinq, six ;
Sept, huit, neuf ;
Dix…

- Peut-être cette vie est déjà écrite?
- Non? Je suis désolé. Je ne comprends pas.

Bonheur..

2011-02-08T14:55:00.002+11:00

A distant darkness,
Beyond unknown,
Clasping waves,
Worries clawed away.

Trampled shadows,
Encore un enfant,
An unknown man,
Simple la mortalité.

Stolen foot prints,
Faulty residue,
A chiming echo,
Voices subdued.

Retraced journeys,
A chilling breeze,
Warmth captured,
Simple la solidarité.

A flickering light,
Boggled thoughts,
Hopeful vessels,
Un souhait sur un nuage.

Je vous salue, Marie, pleine de grâce..

I'm just an average...

2011-01-12T16:31:00.006+11:00

... I merely flaunt it.

[RJK]

VOGUE Darling..

2010-11-04T22:11:00.001+11:00

Chakri Castillo & Nicky Block en route to Melbourne Cup 2010.

Love..

LMNOP

2010-10-18T21:56:00.003+11:00

Touch me,
Your muse,
Abuse and reuse.

Admire me,
Your aficionado,
Tailcoat and dancing shoes.

Unwind me,
Your demise,
Copy and paste.

Feel me,
Your stain,
White wine and glass.

Twirl me,
Your indulgence,
Slaughter and butcher.

Entice me,
Your attempt,
Anticipation and flirtatious smiles.

Convert me,
Your perception,
Trial and error.

Examine me,
Your repercussions,
Propose and let be.

Savour me,
Your last chance,
Betray and punish.

indifférence..

2010-09-14T04:54:00.006+10:00

Il fume plus de cigarettes,
Il ne sourit pas.

Non, rien n'est clair,
Non, rien n'est facile.

Personne n'a crie,
Moi, je ne comprends pas.

Cette place est agréable,
Qu’est-ce que vous voulez?

‘Je suis désolé.’ – Foutre vous monsieur.

les couleurs..

2010-09-08T23:00:00.002+10:00

The marvels of procastination, self-timer, Microsoft Office Picture Manager and Paint - combined.

Speech.

2010-08-29T22:05:00.002+10:00

The blinking cursor,
Patience, my darling.
Soon his muse,
You shall be.

Her voice,
Echoing your mind.
Soon she shall hold you,
And you shall control.

Wine stained tables,
Pride will tarnish,
Your name,
His name.

Her touch,
Trapped in your skin.
Soon she shall whisper,
And you shall speak.

Ink and paper,
She shall write.
Soon her letters,
You will write.

Fuming smoke,
Frustration my darling.
For you alone,
Shall wait..

Perhaps.

2010-06-23T21:43:00.003+10:00

With cheekbones so deceiving,
A luscious lifestyle all along.
Lost in a promenade of pillows and quilts.

With lips so veteran,
Suspended by a mirage of memories.
Nauseating motel scents.

With skin so soft,
Youth almost a myth.
Tears under the shower.

With wrists so delicate,
Standing naked in reflection.
Dancing in solitude.

With eyes so mischievous,
Contemplating perilous words.
Stuffed olives and gin.

With a mind so ragged,
Priorities unnumbered.
Slumber of turbulent dreams.

Craving a touch of warmth,
Relentless frustration.
Perhaps the search must cease.

Perhaps...

...you should disappear.

Jude.

2010-06-07T12:07:00.003+10:00

Fingers cold,
Face tarnished.

Cum stained jeans,
Far from perfection.

Silhouetted feelings,
Dismantled emotions.

Lost in the music,
Living in the reality.

Dignity non-existent,
Morality vanished.

Wisdom intact,
Maturity moderated.

Tainted skin,
Yet, far from imperfection.

Fingers numb,
Face, now, a delusion.

Encore..

2010-04-02T15:23:00.009+11:00

Lying on the floor,

You found me,

You found me...

The Fray

Sydney

30.03.2010

The Big Picture.

2010-03-20T01:02:00.005+11:00

One may think we're alright
But we need pills to sleep at night
We need lies to make it through the day
We're not okay

[Pills - The Perishers]

Dilemma..

2010-03-17T23:28:00.006+11:00

Himself the demon,
I, myself, the apprentice;
Forgiveness unheard of.

Petit garçon,
The world shall never be yours;
Don't bother conquering.

Sinners are overrated,
Our sins unaccountable.
- Your life perilous.

Believing in a Higher Power,
My faith uninspired.
Have me in your prayers...

His agony stricken tears,
Almost paternal, perhaps maternal.
- A mere erotica.

Your eyes astray,
His hands locked in mine.
Too late my son...

Le touriste..

2010-02-03T21:40:00.010+11:00

[Colour Accent & Auto Correct]

Sydney.

A year & four months since I moved here. & still loving it!

Boxed.

2010-01-09T18:19:00.004+11:00

Christmas is over. Gone.

It shall be back soon.

Oh no!

Rendez vous.

2009-10-18T11:21:00.003+11:00

Do up your hair,
Run to the opera,
Let me hold your hand,
Cobbled pavements.

Take me downtown,
Kiss me,
Stop the clocks,
Traffic lights.

Take off your Chanels,
Jump in the puddles,
Dance in the rain,
Street signs.

Give me your jacket,
Buy me coffee,
Start the jukebox,
Neon lights.

You.

Yes, me...

Eclipse

2009-09-15T09:58:00.002+10:00

Take me away,
- To a world unknown.

A world with black rainbows,
White, cloudless skies,
Meadows of plastic,
And tears of gold.

A world with transparent hills,
Rivers of semen,
Music of spoken lies,
And blood of spirits.

A world with mercury seas,
Neon pink stars,
Spaces of nothing,
And the sweat of God.

Take me away.

Away....

...from this world I know.

Why must his life be so glamorous?

2009-08-09T19:14:00.004+10:00

St. Peter's Square, Vatican City.

Mary, come, walk with me...

2009-08-07T12:40:00.005+10:00

Ave Maria..

Lourdes, France.

Burn me a candle...

2009-08-06T15:39:00.007+10:00

Fátima, Portugal.

Sickened Desire

2009-07-21T01:05:00.001+10:00

Malicious Bitch,
Let the boy be...

Crawling under his skin,
Seeping into his veins,
Pulsating his heart;
You savage whore,
Let the boy be...

His innocence stolen,
His mind distraught,
His actions consequential;
You deceiving liar,
Let the boy be...

His origin,
- Your womb;
Your lust,
- His image.

Malicious bitch,
Let thy boy be!

Purple...

2009-07-10T23:20:00.002+10:00

...reminds me of them too large a size skinny pants. Sigh.
I asked for the size 30 to be left on the counter, instead the sales assistant puts on the size 32. I buy the pair, leave Singapore, try it out the following day, and then: "Fucking cunt of a bastard! WHY!?! Oh why God!?"
The pants being too big, I now dislike.
Alteration - a possibility.
Alas, I wish Topman had a store in Sydney!

A little bit of Israel...

2009-07-05T23:22:00.005+10:00

When your dad visits the place a mere four to six times a year on business ventures;
When you yourself have holidayed there some four to five times already;
When your surname itself is of Jewish origin;

- Your home must indeed be clutterd with pieces, ranging from furniture to soap, from that lovely country...

Macedonia & Bermuda..

2009-07-03T15:12:00.032+10:00

When filthy rich;
Accompany these two beautifuls on individual voyages...
Kayshia De Soysa to Macedonia - to do nothing but chilax.
Nehla Milfer to Bermuda, en route Paris - to be scandalous 'ritch bitches' of course.
Alas, if we were to be ship wrecked, the world would lose three of her most pretty one’s...

We are vain. - Paint our pimples!

When in boredom...

2009-06-22T19:01:00.002+10:00

...try self-obsession.

Liberate me..

2009-06-09T12:41:00.003+10:00

Capture me on Venus,
Entice my mind.
Seduce me, abuse me;
Love me.

En route to thy lair,
Bewilder my memoirs,
Scar me, crush me;
Embrace me.

Lost amongst the stars,
Trample my heart,
Tear me, Burn me;
Search me within.

Enslave me on Pluto,
Tarnish my name,
Disgrace me, Torment me;
See through me...

Change..

2009-06-05T12:12:00.007+10:00

Bland Leather

2009-05-20T12:59:00.002+10:00

The father's shoes - now mine.

The lost wristlet - dearly missed.

Threaded...

2009-04-23T13:38:00.002+10:00

Legal in a year...

2009-03-26T11:41:00.003+11:00

Given to me last year by my dear friend Sarah Turab. Who? Sarah Turab, or Turab, as I now call her was the reason why I ended up with chicken pox on New Year's Day 2008. So much for 'doing' lunch! Alas, she was forgiven, when she graced me with this divine mug for my birthday. It's quite the sex. I miss her. I miss Colombo. I miss AIS.

Demented

2009-03-20T13:55:00.002+11:00

Stalking her lonely pace,
It toys with her mind,
Scorching her hair,
Drying her skin...

Lost in her thoughts,
Her unawareness abused,
It moves closer.

His breath burning into her neck,
His touch scarring her body...
Her garments torn apart,
Her mind tormented.

His sweet perverse whispers,
Doused her screams,
In agony she had to let him in...

Demon or man,
She barely remembers,
That agonising yet lustful night,
Now only a mere myth...

Wrist.

2009-03-05T12:12:00.004+11:00

From left to right:

Leather wristlet. Bought from a random boutique shop down Paddington. It has Alan Myerson written on the back, the shopkeeper says he's an upcoming designer – the least of my concerns. I just love it.

Seiko wristwatch. My first timepiece of good quality. My mother gave it to me whilst I was in grade 8 - when wearing a timepiece made one more mature and adult-like all of a sudden. It belonged to my father. He bought it in Singapore, 15 or so years ago - could be much longer though. The Seiko’s my most prized possession,

Rubber bands. Hailing from a pack of bands purchased from Coles. Why I wear them? They're very handy. But mostly I wear them, just in case my second most prized possession decides to break loose.

Wooden beads. Bought in Jerusalem as a rosary that smelt of rosewood. Was my first rosary, well to be exact, my first wooden rosary. It's been through a lot. From the childhood gnawing through to the intimate moments of adolescence. The rosary now has a few missing beads, the remaining beads smell of toe jammed Havaianas – the reason being I never take it off, and it now resembles a necklace rather than a rosary when taken off.

My right wrist is bland...

My Memoirs...

2009-02-26T12:01:00.003+11:00

...from the anberlin gig.

the lights blaring,
the heat dwindling,
the music centred,
my heart was empty.

- I was missing you..

Her daily prayer...

2009-02-08T12:55:00.001+11:00

Beyond the sunrise,
Across the horizon,
Amidst the skies,
Lay the prayers...

One for joy,
One for mercy,
Another for love,
- All unanswered.

Dear Lord,
Pardon me for asking,
But where’s my joy?
Where’s my comfort?

Show me paradise,
I yearn to believe,
Strengthen my faith,
I yearn for peace...

If time permits,
Could I relive it all?
Could I right my wrongs?
Could I love her right?

Dear Lord,
Answer my prayers,
Forgive me, for I have sinned,
Amen...

Self.

2009-02-07T16:17:00.004+11:00

Wedding blues...

2009-01-27T13:31:00.002+11:00

One.
Examine yourself,
Look deep within,
Research your heart.

Two.
Unwind awhile,
Take a breath,
Love thyself.

Three.
Sing a song,
Put on a smile,
Run along back to life.

Four.
Keep on that smile,
Sway in the white,
Dance with him.

Five.
Belle of thy ball,
With his ring on,
Too late, my love...

Un, Deux, Trois, Quatre, Cinq...

Our dirty little secret it shall be!

Homewards.

2009-01-21T23:33:00.004+11:00

Colombo, I miss thee...

25 years on...

2009-01-16T16:34:00.002+11:00

... and still in love.

The Storm.

2009-01-07T02:58:00.002+11:00

The howling wind;
Wrapped in his arms,
Her skin,
Cool against his...

The rustling leaves;
Searched by his palms,
Her body,
Pulsating with his...

The deafening thunder;
Locked in his embrace,
Her lips,
Caressing his...

The pouring rain;
Exhilarated by his voyage,
Her gasps,
Subdued by his.,.

The seizing storm;
Lying beside him,
Her mind,

At ease with his...

Wretched..

2008-12-31T15:31:00.002+11:00

Impolite to stare,
Yet she continues,
Revealing the truth,
- Her inner feelings...

Trapped in chaos,
One she, herself, shaped.
Self respect –
Was the basis...

She lies awake,
While he lies in pain.
Her pride,
His sorrow...

Though she sees him,
He remains unseen.
Ignorance is bliss,
- Negative.

Perfection is inhuman,
Alas, she does not forgive.
His regrets,
She hears not of...

Her rules,
Her morals,
Her ego,
Makes her more irresistible...

Her desire swells,
His mind unclear,
If only, she would confess,
And make it all end.

Deux

2008-12-15T17:00:00.001+11:00

One summer,
A coincidence,
Unforgettable,
Him and Her.

Clear skies,
Lustful minds,
A desire,
Young hearts.

A low tide,
Nostalgia,
Sworn to secrecy,
One kiss.

A scorching Sunday,
Adolescence,
Fresh spirits,
Craving each other.

Starry nights,
Trivial,
An affair,
He had her.

On the sands,
Tearing at each other,
Heaven on earth,
She was in love.

All summer,
In hiding,
Together at last,
Him and Her.

Death by Colour

2008-12-11T12:37:00.002+11:00

I didn't mean to kill it.

It's wing bent slightly.

It couldn't fly.

It was suffering.

I put an end to it's misery.

I bashed it with my brother's dictionary.

- I'm not a heartless bastard.

Profanity.

2008-12-08T14:26:00.002+11:00

Keeping me awake,
My heart in confusion,
My mind in chaos,
- A lass...

Unable to sleep,
Hopeless at heart,
Pathetic at mind,
- A demeanour...

I turn to God,
Alas, is there a point?
Not a clue,
Yet, I ask for forgiveness...

Wide awake,
My cravings uncontrollable,
My plea neglected,
- Impatience...

Irresistible she is,
My guise is transparent,
My truth is exposed,
- Déjà vu...

I am weakened,
Should I hold on?
Unanswerable.
I might as well wish upon it...

Stray with me..

2008-12-06T20:02:00.004+11:00

Shelter.

2008-12-05T14:01:00.000+11:00

Advent..

2008-12-02T14:01:00.002+11:00

Regret not.

2008-12-01T14:06:00.002+11:00

How is it possible that you can love another whilst still loving her? Could it be said that you’re cheating on your spouse by just thinking of that one true love of yours back in high school... Is it immoral to think of how life would have being if you were with her instead? What you could have being with her by your side? What life would’ve been if only you would’ve gotten to know her? If only she was your friend. If only you took things slow. If only, you hadn’t been an impatient moron.

Don’t hate yourself. It’s only human to look back at your past. It’s only human to regret. It’s only human to sulk over something, only human to cry over spilt milk. But is it humane to hurt someone who loves you more than any other being?

Be grateful of her. Show her some respect. Your high school sweetheart’s long gone. You have someone who’s fallen for you, at last. Stop wanting more. Stop doubting. Stop being a selfish bastard. Start living the present. You had your chance in the past but it’s long gone – there’s no turning back.

You’ve got the future to look forward to. You have your children to love, and that special woman who’s got your kids and yourself number one on her priority list. Love her. Hang in there. Forget that girl in high school. She was probably never the one for you...

the 5 o'clock people..

2008-11-27T12:08:00.003+11:00

and so the people I watch...

2008-11-22T18:57:00.004+11:00

Fate.

2008-11-17T12:49:00.004+11:00

The whistle is blown,
Muscles strain.
Tension. Pressure.
I am to start a race of emotion.

The wind is rushing in,
I am numb.
Agony. Pain.
I yearn for the finish line.

The rain is descending,
I am drenched.
Frustration. Depression.
I strain my eyes.

The fog is emerging,
I am enclosed.
Panic. Fear.
I am blinded.

The snow is conquering,
I am cold.
Anger. Rage.
I shall win this race!

The sun is glorious ,
I am warmed.
Comfort. Love.
I run at ease.

Moments pass,
The finish line seems further away...
Muscles ache.
Confusion.

- Am I to lose this race?

Shoot!

2008-11-13T11:49:00.003+11:00

Healed..

2008-11-07T13:53:00.005+11:00

Steam

2008-11-05T14:05:00.002+11:00

Dancing into the night,
They lost themselves that night.
- High School Sweethearts.

A walk down the horizon,
The sun rests on them.
- The tide is low.

Drenched from head to toe,
Running from themselves.
- The need for warmth.

A brief conversation,
The words tie them down.
- Speechless.

Dejection is a factor,
They’ve deceived themselves.
- Till death do us part?

A door opens,
A path paved for them.
- The only way out.

Death appears glorious,
Confused themselves.
- Suffering the consequences.

A reason forever unknown,
Innocence descends upon them.
- Now, forever, in peace.

Rain on the Lonely...

2008-10-29T14:03:00.005+11:00

Away..

2008-10-13T10:43:00.002+11:00

Hmm... Sydney, minus a proper internet connection - the only down fall of moving away.

And the fact that I miss everyone at home. Well, almost everyone. I miss my babies. WHO? My dogs. The apples of my eye. Yes, I have a rather unhealthy relationship with them. Now, for those who are crude minded, do keep your comments to yourself.! Life here is pretty darn awesome. I absolutely love it here. And as for this blog, I shall try my best to keep updating it as frequent as I am able to...

Solitude…

2008-09-17T23:52:00.002+10:00

Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday.
Lights turned out,
Wake up call set;
Seven-thirty a.m.

Head on pillow,
Legs outstretched,
Blanket pulled over,
Slumber sets in.

The phone rings,
A minute passes,
Groan.
Finally awake.

Hygiene. Appearance. Coffee.
Thank God it’s Friday…
Down to the metro,
And up the elevator shaft.

Five o’clock,
Work’s out,
Straight to the bar,
One vodka tonic coming right up!

Eye at the door,
She walks in.
She searches the room,
Their eyes meet.

The hotel suite.
Love or lust,
Who’s to say?
Satisfaction perhaps…

The children. The spouses.
Waiting all weekend,
By now,
Are, accustomed.

Bed time; Sunday evening.
Back home.
‘I missed you kiddo.’
‘I love you babe.’

Samantha..

2008-09-09T23:53:00.001+10:00

Half a decade after birth,
Little Miss Samantha,
Leaves behind her Daddy
- He loved her, a tad bit too much.

Forty-eight months later,
Little Miss Samantha,
Falls in love
- The girls in school avoid her.

One-O-four weeks after
Little Miss Samantha,
Loses her Mommy
- Apparently she slipped of a bridge.

Two calendars later,
Little Miss Samantha,
Is no more little
- She’d done it all too many a time.

Three-sixty-five days pass,
Miss Samantha,
Now stays up all night
- Busy, selling herself.

Sweet Sixteen,
Miss Samantha,
Lives the high life
- Injecting the virus accidently.

Two decades, less a year after birth,
Miss Samantha,
Sleeps on stone slabs
- Two hearts beating within.

Nine months beyond,
And Miss Samantha,
Is finally cured of her misery
- Death by birth.

Nose Portrayal

2008-08-28T05:25:00.002+10:00

Vain…

2008-08-25T01:26:00.004+10:00

Women and shoes - vain indeed.
Take for instance the above pair of shoes. Bought in Cairo, somewhere around the mid 90’s, they are now disastrous, but my mom refuses to part with them. The heel is worn out and the sole has no bloody grip! Yet, my mom is ever so determined never to stop wearing them - even if it means that she runs the risk of falling on her arse in public, and maybe even twisting an ankle or two…

Vain indeed.

Déjà-vu

2008-08-21T16:26:00.002+10:00

Morning.
Skin to skin,
Limbs entangled,
Such a marvel…

Rewind.

Last night.
Much sadness,
Spirits mixed,
Plenty laughter…

Fast Forward.

Daybreak.
Unsteady legs,
‘Joyeux, Joyeux,’
Wasted, gone…

Rewind.

Midnight.
Sober yet,
The eyes meet,
Lips lock.

Pause.

Fast Forward.

Afternoon.
Light,
Garments back on,
She reaches for the door…

Stop!

She'll soon be famous.

2008-08-20T15:36:00.003+10:00

Naima Camilla Starkloff. Soon to start a reality TV series of her life based in Penang, will strut her arse onto the catwalks of Manhattan before long. And once she earns her first million, I most certainly will quit college and move in with her, to do nothing but to serenade in the lap of her luxury. That sounds brilliantly wrong doesn’t it?

- I miss the little brat...

When your tears have dried…

2008-08-20T15:21:00.002+10:00

Why did the tears flow,
When all you wanted was a bit of attention…
Why did they flow,
When all you wanted was merely another candy bar…

Why did the tears flow,
Whenever you scratched your knee…
Why ever did they flow,
Whenever the thunder roared…

Why did the tears flow,
When your first pet set off to heaven,
Why did they flow,
When Nana became an angel…

Why did they flow,
Throughout your life?
But now,
Why do they not flow,
When all you want is to break down…

It all seems a mystery,
For when you DO want,
The tears to flow,
They simply refuse to form…

So if ever your tears,
Dry up and refuse to flow,
Simply turn to me,
For I’ll be there for you…

trigger.

2008-08-08T01:40:00.002+10:00

Mostiquo.

2008-07-28T14:54:00.003+10:00

'Mostiquo'. This is what I used to call them, skin piercing, blood sucking creatures, up until the age of thirteen or so. Of course, I had to learn how to pronounce the word… the hard way. I still remember how my best friend used to make me say ‘mostiquo’ a dozen times just so that she could have a good laugh. And I always thought that was how the word mosquito was pronounced. So when she asked me if my parents pronounced it the same manner, I simply said, ‘Yes!’ Ah, well, after a couple of months, I finally figured out how to pronounce the word, this time the right way.

P.S. If I am to contract Malaria within the next three weeks or so, I guess you’ll know why…

Overpowering me...

2008-07-25T01:02:00.004+10:00

Hooked onto me,
'It' refuses to let go.
I try ignorance,
But 'it' only pains me more.

I depend on time,
Hoping 'it' will disappear.
Too much time has passed,
Yet 'it' is with me.

Ignorance is my tactic,
Yet, unavoidable 'it' is.
My mind shuts down the memories,
But 'it' is victorious each day.

In denial I stand,
While 'it' tortures my heart.
I shut my mind,
Yet 'it' refuses to let go.

I am defeated,
For 'it' has worn me down.
'It' leaves me finally,
Only to return the next day.

I am tortured once more,
Till the possibility disappears.
For 'it' knows,
For 'it' knows too much...

Babylicious!

2008-07-23T00:07:00.001+10:00

Kayshia De Soysa is a NUTT! Kay, as everyone calls her, can make you smile whenever, wherever. And I mean that. The girl was born to put a smile on one's face...

I love the girl!

Mon parents

2008-07-22T16:21:00.000+10:00

What would they say?

2008-07-20T20:24:00.000+10:00

What would they say,
If you and I were to live on our emotions?
Forever love, Forever hate.

What would they say,

If you and I were to depend on our dreams?

Forever laughter, Forever tears.

What would they say,

If you and I were to strive on our insticts?

Forever here, Forever gone.

Even through life,

And even through death,

With whatever we do,

The question always lingers...

- "What would they say?"

Whilst in prayer...

2008-07-18T02:27:00.000+10:00

When I called myself an EMO...

2008-07-15T01:25:00.001+10:00

http://unashamedofmypast.blogspot.com/

The above link, is a link, well, let's just say to my past. I may not seem the type to do somehting insane, but hey, I'd do it all over again if I had to. Sounds to cliche perhaps, but what the hell, that's how i really feel.

P.S. I still do find eyeliner the sex. And no, i don't wear it anymore, but maybe i should...

The Italian Garden, Glamis Castle, Scotland.

2008-07-11T22:13:00.000+10:00

Friendship, Romance, Chaos

2008-07-11T04:33:00.000+10:00

Searching for her one true love, she’s unaware of me gazing into her eyes; loving every bit of her… How is it that she is unable to see right through me? She knows me inside-out, but yet she cannot tell. Is wanting her love too much to ask? She does love me (as a friend), but born as a human, is it selfish to want more…

So, I find my self saddened, by the thoughts of her that fill my head each day, I must leave I tell myself, I leave her in the midst of nowhere, I leave home. A vacation would help I tell myself, but no, it only worsens the need. Through the day, I am lost in thoughts of her, unable to concentrate on what’s going on about me. I’m lost. And each night as I lay my head to drift into sleep, my mind begins to sink in thoughts of her, falling asleep with thoughts of her floating in my mind.

We’ve been through this once before, and we came out alive, but I cannot help but wonder if we’re still so strong. Should I risk all we have for some silly summer romance…

Life is cruel, I am aware, what I do not know for sure that she has no feelings for me. She mystifies me, and I am constantly confused, could it be that she knows. Whatever she knows, I pray to God that whatever we have shall last for ever… because without her, I’d never survive. For only her I am able to trust, and for only her I am able to get through this hazard called life.

Maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic… forever wanting to be loved. Maybe I’m just a sinner… forever to be punished. Maybe I'm cursed… forever to be hopeless. But whatever it is, I pray that I am able to survive with a shattered heart as always.

P.S. I’ve never written something like this before, and it’s purely fictional. But inspiration has been taken from the past.

Bubbly.

2008-07-07T05:23:00.000+10:00

The word best describes my darling sister, Ms. Jacqueline Koelmeyer.

Perhaps a daisy?

Dance...

2008-07-07T03:10:00.001+10:00

...even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

The Unveiling

2008-07-07T02:38:00.001+10:00

Alas, finally, I am bought a camera. This camera to me is like candy to a baby. I love it.
Canon, Digital IXUS 90 IS..

Bewildered

2008-06-15T23:23:00.000+10:00

For all of her,
I have fallen.
From thoughts of her,
I cannot escape.

What we have,
I wish not to lose;
Yet what we could have,
I wish to uncover.

What I feel for her,
I do not know.
But what I truly feel,
Will I ever know?

When by myself,
There’s so much to say,
Yet when with her,
It’s impossible to tell.

What she feels for me,
I do not know.
But what she truly feels,
Will I ever know?

Yet for all of her,
I have fallen.
And from thoughts of her,
I cannot escape.

Reality..

2008-06-15T23:09:00.000+10:00

A day of dreams,
Unravels the mind;
The mind wanders,
Into places unknown.

Running down Memory Lane,
Trekking through Dreamland,
Floating past Fantasy Island;
Eventual destination – reality…

A night of insomnia,
Fatigues the mind;
The mind wanders,
Into places unknown.

Laughing down Hope,
Dancing through Future,
Pondering past Life,
Final destination – reality…

Living with reality,
Hardens the mind;
The mind unable to wander,
Has life no more…

Brownie

2008-06-03T12:28:00.000+10:00

Too soon, too young.

2008-05-29T18:04:00.000+10:00

The journey has begun,
The path is yet to be explored,
No limit. No obstacle. No regret.

The mind has wandered,
The heart is broken,
No limit. No obstacle.

The time has been wasted,
The life is yet to be lived,
No limit.

The journey has begun to bore,
The path is already explored,
The limit, the obstacle, the regret; are now forever…

DOG!

2008-05-26T23:32:00.000+10:00

Trigger

Bruno

Olive Oil

2008-05-25T18:59:00.000+10:00

Freedom..

2008-05-25T16:57:00.000+10:00

Nearing midnight,
Croaking frogs,
Humidity utmost;
I need to leave.

Too much to bare,
Frustration runs wild,
Depression takes over;
I begin to weep.

Leaving home,
Running away,
Nearing death;
I am lost.

Happiness, Joy, Laughter.
Showers of blessings.
A perfect life,
I wish to live.

Broken free;
Weakness and Rage,
Frustration and Anger,
I begin to melt.

Nothing to regret,
Feelings understood,
A world of confusion,
I am known.

The sun has died;
A wrecked mind, a mending heart,
Sore eyes and foul breath;
I fall asleep.

The crack of dawn,
Life once more;
Though numb inside,
I put on a smile.